EEK....I just got lobbed a make or break moment via e-mail. Not sure how to handle.
W: "Christmas- I would like to keep Christmas eve and Christmas morning with S. It is important that I too establish holiday routines even though your family has their own. I am excited about creating new ones"(she always said this when we were together, by the way).
Me: "I understand. And I have no problem parting with how mom and dad like to do things at all – I know historically I have not been very flexible in that regard but it is something I have outgrown. I understand your frustration with it.
Would this be fair? I take him during the day on Christmas Eve you pick him up around 7:00-7:30 and then bring him back around 1-2 on Christmas Day? That way my family and friends can socialize with him a bit and he can still have time with you on Christmas Eve as well?"
W: "Since 7 pm is his bedtime, that won’t work. He usually is exhausted by 7 pm. I think your family traditions are great, but it is important I create new ones for Corbi and I. I am glad you are involving family and friends. If you are ever including someone you are dating, I think that would be info. Either of us should know, as it has a big impact on our son. Just a request I am putting out there.
I am glad to hear of your transformations. I wish I could’ve been instrumental in supporting them along the way, It is interesting to see that once I was gone, you were able to make changes. Whatever the case, I’m glad to hear about them."
Whoa - what do I do with this?!?! And where the heck did the "dating" remark come from - is she "fishing"?!? And what is she bringing up transformations for?? Was the "once I was gone you could make changes" remark a dig?!?
Not sure how to respond. Was gonna say:
"I am not dating anyone – just been very focused on me and S these days. Let’s try to think of something that would work for both of us. I would like to have part of Christmas Eve or part of Christmas morning if possible. I have no problems moving beyond how things worked in the past – so I am not tied to what has typically gone down by any means. In fact, I am open to “new” these days.
Regarding transformations, even though you haven’t been around to support them along these last few months, you’ve been very influential – so I thank you for that. I’m trying to be a better human being and a better father."
Does that work? Is there a better way to handle this in a BD fashion?? What does the subtext of her message mean? Is she actually noticing?
I haven't replied to her last message yet. Need to think that one through....too important to just "wing it"
