In my situation, I first thought to give nothing at all.
But then I thought of the thoughtful gift that my H gave me recently (early Nov, 3 months into 'separation') for my birthday (a book that I'd like, a framed pic of our kids, and some expensive chocolates, together with a nice card).
So... I thought I'd give him the 'novelty' gift that I've included in our presents every year since the first Xmas I met him. We'd only been together for about 2 weeks, and I wasn't really celebrating Xmas (being that I had been on my own), so I bought him some chocolate frogs (a local chocolatier specialty).
I'll just put those under the tree so he gets something if and when he turns up on Xmas morning.
I'm doing this because I still think, that at some level, he is connected to us and would want to come back if only he could face the mess that he's made. Could be kidding myself, I know...
But, I'm trying to show that it's OK to come back if he wants, and I figure that no present at all would signal that we don't care about him and don't want him in our celebrations.
Now I've almost talked myself into getting him something more significant!!!
