I can relate to your sitch. I've been having a hard time with the up's and down's... and dealing with the holiday season as a LBS. I've gotten a lot of great advice from experiences DBers, one in particular might help you too:

"I know it's hard when we hear our spouses sound so confident and calm in their choice to leave us. One thing that has been helpful for me to remember is that feelings aren't permanent. Just because your H feels this way today, doesn't mean he will feel this way days/months/years down the road. We all change our minds. It's part of being human. Accept that he feels that way right now, but don't take it as gospel and allow yourself to lose hope." [user: SomeDay]

I've found that posting regularly has helped me to vent and get the support I so desperately need.

M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12