not enought time and too much distance

[gunny]

AC,
I agree with both posters. You have told her you will be there for her, and that you care about her. She knows this. I think it is time to go gray, at least. Meaning that the only time you contact her is when she contacts you, and if you are not there to take the call,you call her back at your convenience.

This is how things are with my w, and, as you know, our sitchs are amazingly similar. Both of us are the same age, our w's are about the same age, both have moved to another state, both may be involved with old flames from 25 years ago, etc. the big difference being that my w is not suffering(to my knowledge) the deep depression that yours is.

With the exception of one time the day after thanksgiving, I have not contacted my s. I did send her a card for our anniver, but in the two months she has been gone, she has initiated all contacts, which is generally about 1 per week.

Our styles are very similar, we have both sought to take the high ground and keep the door ajar. But, now for your own sanity, and out of respect for your w, who wants detachment at this time, maybe it is time to go gray.

Good luck buddy