Purgatory: Thanks for the note. It feels a little comforting to know that I'm not alone. I've been reading some posts here for a week or two. I read on someone's post that it feels like their H was abducted by aliens, and that's exactly how I feel about my H. I just hope that he'll be returned to me! I will look into the Y. My MIL said she'd be getting me a gym membership for XMAS. She's totally supportive of me doing things for myself.
Oh, you're so right about the emotional roller coaster. I hate it. I am happy to have my DS to give my attention to. He makes me happy and I need to be there for him. That's one of the reasons that I haven't had much of a life outside of the house is that I love spending time with my DS and H. Working full time already takes up so much time and I feel like I'm missing out on a lot. At the same time, I do see the importance of having "me" time. It's all about finding the right balance.
I need some advice. H says he thought I left him, meaning that because I didn't meet his needs and was moody, etc, that I had moved on (emotionally). I admitted to him that I had been emotionally distant and wrapped up in stress, etc, but I never "left" him, never said I didn't love him or anything like that. I understand the need to detach (though I think that it's the most difficult thing to do) and GAL, go "dim", etc. However, if that is how he thinks I used to be - distant, is doing all of that going to make him think that I am moving on and he doesn't have to feel guilty about giving up on us? I guess the important thing would be to act pleasant and happy (again, so difficult to do when you're heart and soul are being stabbed, punched and kicked) and not be cold or look mad. It's so hard to put on a happy face when he can tell from looking at my eyes that I'm hurting.
