Adventures in GALing

[AntoniaB]

labug, that's very true. I was in and out of serious depression and bomb-drop and divorce aftereffects while I did all that. Still am sometimes!

Ok well I have to mark it somewhere. Today would have been my 20th wedding anniversary, as a matter of fact, about 1 hour from now.

I guess I feel sad but the sadness is more or less in my rearview mirror.

I look around and I have a nice home and my books and my things I've made, and my cats who are so loving and kind (most of the time!) and my yard, and my privacy, and my wonderful friends who are there for me, and this board, and the terrific people here, some of whom have become very close friends even though I've never had the pleasure of giving them a real hug, and most of all, my family. I talked to my father last night, and he's pretty much counting the days till I go see my parents for Christmas. The man lives for Christmas, really, for getting everyone together, and it's time that I realize that despite how he can be, he doesn't have a whole lot of years left, and I need to be more grateful for the time I do see him and my mom. I have a really good, full life, and the marriage might not have worked out, but everything else pretty much did.

I want to say to anyone who just began this nightmare that the nightmare does end...a year ago today I was a wreck beyond imagining, and I was so skeptical life would ever get better, but it did. It's an equal application of your own work and your own will to make it better and time, I think. And I still have bad days and hours, and I still cry from time to time, but sometimes I cry because I hurt for other people or because there is beauty in the world even in moments of terrible pain.

I'll leave you all today with this quote I found in a book I'm reading called Perseverance. The quote is from Pema Chodron, who is an American Buddhist nun.

"How did I get so lucky to have my heart awakened to others and their suffering?"

Sometimes knowing that there are others in the same boat makes your journey seem easier to bear. Sometimes knowing others have it worse makes you greatful to grasp whatever little it is that you have and make that the reason you continue to live.

Have a lovely day everyone and a very Merry Christmas :-)