Thank you. Fwiw I do not think my xh has really come to terms with the fact that he divorced me. A process that took a very long time, as he kept changing his mind, and I did nothing to help or hinder the process. Except protect my assets as best I could, and rect some very firm boundaries
My MIL was totally for me, and remained so until she died, but the others - I sent letters of condolence when family members died, and generally tried to behave well, but it was as if I had never existed. Except for one nephew who so totally gets it, and is a great friend of my sons. He thinks xh's whole family is essentially crazy, including his mother [my xh's sister] although he loves her, he sees she is nuts.
So I think my xh is telling himself that he is being 'nice' and keeping me in the loop, but being in MLC does not take a moment's thought about how I might feel. At a deeper level he probably wants to stay connected, but really who knows?
