Thank you so much ladies! I am beyond grateful for the support and encouraging words I receive on this site.
SD: You do have a point. It's next to impossible to think that he will ever change his mind- after I saw his face and calm demeanor while he was talking. But you're right. He didn't feel this way 6 months ago... and might not feel this way 6 months from now (perhaps I won't feel this way 6 months from now? one can only hope)
DU: I'm a cat person, so I like the shortened name I would like to think that he's trying to convince himself that he's doing the right thing. In 1 month, I've seen glimpses of the old him coming back to me- but then I can almost see the wheels turing in him head and he come to a screeching halt and does a U-turn... as if he had the urge to do something and remembered that he said he didn't love me
Sunshine: it took all my power to keep from begging and crying (unfortunately, because I was holding it all in, my heart was racing and set off my monitor- so he knew what was really happening in my body... I hate that alarm sometimes!) I've never liked having my words stated back to me... but d@mn, I had a good point. Thank you for reminding me that we need to be friends before I can ever hope to be lovers again
update tonight: While he was at the gym, I had dinner with my boys and we watched some stupid cartoon movie on TV, but we shared a few laughs. My 5 year old passed out on the couch by 6:30 (haha) so me and the baby shared a piece of oreo pie... that little booger ate more than me! He gets his sweet tooth from his mommy I noticed that I feel relaxed when H isn't in the house, and to think that I used to love having him home His brother comes tomorrow and is staying through Xmas. We've never been super close, but I'm an only child so he's the closest I've ever had to a brother- and it kills me that this separation will include losing some of the family that I gained through our M
My GAL plans this week: I'm going to a movie on Thursday. I'm going alone because my friend had to change plans- but H doesn't know that I'm going to try a yoga class at the Y, and I have to start packing for my week long trip to my parents house- without the kids Even though I'm gonna miss them terribly, it will be nice to have some time to focus on ME on my timetable.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I would like to think that he's trying to convince himself that he's doing the right thing. In 1 month, I've seen glimpses of the old him coming back to me- but then I can almost see the wheels turing in him head and he come to a screeching halt and does a U-turn... as if he had the urge to do something and remembered that he said he didn't love me 
