What do I do next? Part 3

[workinghardguy]

I used to teach a course to the parents of the students at an at-risk kids' school. A major theme of that class was that as your kids get older your level of control decreases proportionately. Parents who miss that often end up in set battles as they up the control and the child pushes back even harder. You can grab a five year old and put him in his room... Harder to do with a 16 year old

As the kids age it becomes more about influencing, advising, and setting boundaries. Positive reinforcement helps continue selected behaviors and the use of consequences (preferably naturally occurring ones) to discourage out-of-bounds behavior.