Interesting take on the viewpoints. I didn't realize I was controlling until my children were almost grown. I couldn't see it, but after it was pointed out quite unexpectedly(and I revived from my shock), I worked on that part really hard. And for those who are thinking about it,I can tell you that I find times that it's still very difficult. But, as I get older (and hopefully wiser)I tend to be able to let go and accept those things I cannot change. That is very important when your children get M and have a family of their own. And you siblings, and....so on.
Being a fixer sure sounds better than "controller", doesn't it? Gee, I just wanted my family to be happy! Problem was, I must have thought I knew what was best for them.
Maybe certain personalities tend to produce the controllers more so than others. Maybe it depends on the birth order, IDK. I didn't stand much chance either way....lol. But we "can" change the way we are in many things....if we want to bad enough, and if we continue working to get the right results. Now that sounds familiar!
I don't see controlling quite the same as being a perfectionist, but that's JMHO. (If a controller or perfectionist can have a humble opinion.)
Do you all believe that perfectionism is a learned behavior or inherited? Sometimes I swear I can see my mother when I look at myself!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I didn't stand much chance either way....lol. But we "can" change the way we are in many things....
Sometimes I swear I can see my mother when I look at myself!