You're right Accuray, about the pattern: I am also a perfectionist with big control tendencies.
I'd like to echo Crimson's point about it being hard to change. In my case, I have a lot of authority and status at work, and it's a traditionally male domain - so I feel I have brought these traits into my personal life as well.
I can see how my H got fed up with me being like I am.
I've been trying to change in the way I interact with my kids, but there's less opportunity to do things differently with a spouse who's pretty much set on a course of bankrupting us through bad business decisions and reckless spending.
If any perfectionists, outshiners, and good hearted I-know-besters have any tips or specific examples about what's worked for them, please tell more.
