Well, he was a difficult man to live with. He was always a "jerk" but as long as I was looking good and keeping up with the housework, he would not have left. I did have a bit of an attitude over the weight issue. I was over 200 lbs. when he got his new wife, but he told me I was "grotesquely fat" when I was 126 lbs. I'm 5'4" tall. I tend to turn to food for comfort and his complaining constantly kept me stressed and I ALSO felt like he should love me, anyway. And I felt like he was selfish. But in spite of all that, I did not intentionally gain all that weight or refuse to lose it.
I think we had plenty of good communication, but he just didn't care about my needs. I bent over backwards trying to keep him happy. He always told me he only treated me poorly because I let him. That is what I got for trying to be gentle, kind, longsuffering and forgiving, always looking for the good in him and telling him what I appreciated, etc...He blamed me for EVERYTHING, but after he got a new wife, he could see that I wasn't so bad after all. But I hear in the way he talks about his ex-wife that he thinks he is the perfect husband and everyone else is crazy or unreasonable.
I deeply regret not being able to get my weight down and I KNOW it would have kept him from getting another woman because he told me many times.
