I spent all night with XW..........on the phone

[ericmsant2]

Tad,

I was going to go through all of your posts to show you how many times people have asked you questions about YOU, about what YOU want to do for YOU, about learning to really detach and move on. Sorry but about 6 hours in, I had about 600 quotes.

I’m not saying this to be hard dude. Look maybe some folks will not come out and just say it. F it I will. Your stuck man! Totally freaking stuck. I have been stuck before man. It [censored].

You still have not figured out that nothing YOU do will change her mind. Nothing you say, do not say, do, do not do, manipulate, do not manipulate, control, do not control. Will change HER mind.

Only she can.

So what is a dude to do?

Option 1 – Stay stuck forever….always looking over your shoulder, always worried about what she will say do or thing. Dude….ya may not want to hear this but she has been F’ing someone else. She has divorced YOU.

Option 2 – Learn to accept that RIGHT now…and maybe for a very long time, she is lost, gone, jumped off the deep end. She has checked out. If you can accept this and THEN TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE. You will feel better.

I am years into this…years….my XW is so f’d up it aint funny. Yesterday she calls and when I tell her not to….her response…”what you don’t want to hear my sexy voice”? My response….”no I do not, that is for you and whom ever you are with”. Dude, they want to keep you close, want you to stay “waiting for them”. It really is the ultimate power trip. So ya feel like you are going to continue to give you power over to someone that does not appreciate you..

F it….let me be more direct. Cause honestly….I think you need to hear it.

Where my friend is your self respect? Your mojo? Where is the man that she fell in love with? He is freaking lost in his own pool of pity, loss of confidence, doubt….a ton of negative stuff in this pool. Do you want to keep swimming in this pool? Have you considered that maybe just maybe you are used to being in this pool? Have you considered that maybe you have some deeper chit to deal with…..most notably getting back your self respect?

Tad – time to man the f up. Stop side stepping the real issue. Stop expecting everyone to tell you it is gonna be okay. Stop expecting that all of sudden she is gonna wake the F up. Stop it. Make YOURSELF a promise – to be happy dude. I actually forgot how old you are….but dude, life is short man. Go freaking live it. Let her go. Give her what it is she wanted.


This is a hard post dude and maybe I will get banned for it. I say F it…if….it finally wakes your as* up.

Step off the damn rollercoaster already.

One big lesson I have learned…….in order to love someone else….YOU MUST FIRST LOVE YOURSELF!

You know how to reach me….even if that call is to tell me off. I dare ya – call me… double dog dare ya!

FTR, this post is the edited version.


Oh...and

I find that 2x4's can be harsh and depressing sometimes

I find 2x4's CRITICAL in trying to help someone see where they may be stuck. The old saying....if it stings, well look at it.

Eric