if the feedback is from more than once person, (though sometimes only one person has the guts to say it)
then there is something to consider about your delivery, if not the substantive remark itself.
Examine it. It's going to help you. But understand that your Intent is irrelevant. Do you get that?[/color]
I get it, and agree that it is something that I need to focus on. I remember once my wife said she was physically intimidated by me in an argument. I wouldn't EVER touch another human being out of anger - especially my wife. So I see how my overall stature matters. Oddly enough, my father was not just a lawyer - but a Federal Prosecutor - and he, like me, is a big guy with a LOUD (let me say this again - LOUD) voice. I see how his delivery in arguments impacted my mom, but never really saw myself taking on the same behavior. I guess I kind of have. [/color]
Crimson [/quote] I don't think it's too late for your marriage to be restored. It WILL take longer than you expected. But I don't believe a woman who once loved you deeply, has a child with you , will ignore
you as a man, IF she believes you are a very good father and that you have changed into the man she always wanted you to be.
I just think you'd have to have killed all her love-hard to do-
as opposed to covering that love by your actions and her feelings of pain, feelings of neglect, anger, resentment, and fears...
those are to be dealt with and hopefully "undone"...revealing the love below the surface.
that takes time and consistent changes on your end...[/color] [/quote]
I know - I just tend to be rather impatient with things. I guess I wouldn't be SO impatient if I saw any signs of progress - no matter how minute. I hope you are right - I hope that somewhere in her she still loves me on some level and believes that being a family again is not impossible. I just need to dig in for the emotional long haul. Like most, I just struggle with how in the world she will ever see that I am changing. Hell, I've had some massive changes of the last few months that would have made our M better.
