PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[workinghardguy]

Seriously down, imagining a future without being a family and living together is beyond depressing for me, it's not what I want, it's not what I dreamed of and it's not what I worked towards...

Peter... I hear you man, it's not at all what we signed on for or hoped for years ago when we said "I do". But, life is what it is, we can't go back and change things and we can't control others actions.

Can you find a calm place where you can sit down and visualize what life might be like after this? Not from a sad, depressed, angry viewpoint but from a place of growth. Your daughters will still need you and want you. You will still play a role in their lives. Do you want that role to be angry/bitter dad guy? Probably not.

It suxx trying to contemplate "life after". But I look around and see lots of dads who are succeeding and happy. Would they be happier with intact families? Maybe, probably. But they've constructed a different kind of happiness.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds like you're looking at this as a death sentence, and it's not. It's just a different style of life. When you fear something it makes you do stupid and irrational things. It makes you act out because you want to get away and control the fear. Instead, face that fear. See it for what it is and then manage it and work against it. You don't get to control being married or not, so that strategy for facing the fear won't work. You have to find a different strategy.