Hey CO1978, thanks for checking in. I had a really good session with my DB coach. One of the things I realized is that with the example where the ex said she wanted to go hiking and I said I'm going, you can come with me, and she didn't respond is that I can use that as an opportunity to show that I'm not the clingy / needy person I was there for a while. Also, I decided no contact for a while because I was probably texting a bit too much. I wasn't really getting negative responses from her but more like just short ones a lot of the time. We figured if I just detatched again for a little while maybe the space would help create some positive communication in the future.
Also, I haven't looked at her FB page since last wednesday. I have been dying to look and see how the weekend went for her (she spent it with new boyfriend's family for Christmas) but I'm going to hold off a bit longer at least. Although it's been tough not knowing what she's up to, it's really helped my mood and has helped me to detach some. Don't get me wrong, I love her just as much as always but as we all say to each other....it's a marathon. I can't control what she's doing so why let it bother me so much. It feels much better anyway.
She wanted to come by this week to give some presents to our dogs and if she does, i intend to be there. I've been leaving, well, once at least, so she got that time with just dogs and not having to worry about me. I feel like she'll try to avoid seeing me again though. She already said on Thursday (last time I talked to her) that she might not have time to make it. I'm not going to let it ruin my day though. It will hurt, sure, but I'll be OK.
One of the things my DB coach reminded me was this: What I'm doing is slow, but it is solid.
In October we could hardly speak without arguing or without me pleading to come back. We talked practically none for about a month. Then, out of the blue, she texted. We have had some positive interactions, and even shared a bit of our new lives. I miss those things sometimes if I don't have my DB coach to point them out for me. Anyway, today is another day. Thanks for all of the support everyone! Merry Christmas!
