Too little, Too late.

[purgatory]

I am so blessed to have people like ya'll to keep an eye on me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and responding with such encouraging words

Sunshine: I like your theory on 'being able to edit' what I say and write to him while he's overseas. Since email/webcams will be few and far between, I need to make sure that they are the BEST as possible! I did have a tendency, during past deployments (the longest one being 9 months) to let him know what things were stressing me out back home with the house or kids... I learned the hard way that this doesn't make me or him feel any better. So, my 180 will be to be positive and happy during our few conversations

Perseverance: Thanks for finding me! I had been following your posts are you traveled home, glad to know you're almost there I figured if anyone would- you would understand what it's like to miss your family while over there. I'm hoping that he will finally get his 'space' (3000 miles away,haha!) and when he has down time, that he can reflect on what he really wants for his life. *My H is active duty Navy and will be doing a PRT in Afg. It counts as his GSA, so he shouldn't have to go back. He won't be allowed any RR time :(* Any ideas for what I can do to 'help' him cope while he's gone? He's never been gone longer that 9 months at a time and even then, we had phone calls 3 times a week and emails daily- so this will be new for both of us.

Seeking- I really appreciate your perspective. I am really trying to be ok with him moving out-if he chooses- before he deploys. It crushes me to think that he won't get to spend every minute with our boys before he leaves... but I think that he will realize how much he misses when he's gone. I've been trying to chant 'he can't miss anything until he's gone'... so I need to let him move out, without fussing. I have never had good patience and always tried to control situations (so that I couldn't get hurt), so my 180 is to hold my tongue and just let things take it's course. It took almost 9 years to get to this point... I guess it should take longer than 6 months to undo

Brenalim: thanks for the thread suggestion, I'm going to head over there as soon as I'm done typing "Progress is Progress", I really like this. I think I'll make a t-shirt! I have had a hard time finding distractions- I'm glad to hear that the negative thoughts consumed someone else. I have made a playlist on my ipod- all upbeat and fun songs- NO love songs (which was really hard to do) and I blast it in my house while cleaning, in the car and while I'm working out. I decided to do that after I started crying in a store that was playing Xmas songs, pathetic, huh? I am implementing a 180- do not dwell on the negative
thoughts.

I am so grateful that I have found this site and really feel blessed to find the support and encouragement that I've been needing