Forgot to mention, when my w called me the other day to thank me for the card I sent, she also told me that our dog has cancer, a very slow growing variety typical to dogs at his age. She will keep me posted on his progress.

I had talked to my IC about whether I should tell my w that I was being treated for depression, and that I had likely had a low grade depression for most of my life, which would account for a great deal of my propensity to sometimes emotionally withdraw, tend toward control, etc.

My IC said I i felt comfortable discussing it then I should. I have always prided myself on being very self sufficient, didnt share alot of my feelings, etc. I thought long and hard about it, and finally decided to tell her when she called me. This was very difficult for me, but I did it. It was definatley a 180 for me. Six months ago I never would have done it, in fact, I would never have accepted that I could be depressed.

W was supportive, asked if I was getting treatment, and said that I was doing all the right things.

I wasnt trying to blame our m problems on depression, but I did want her to know that I recognized I had a problem and was trying to deal with it.

W has had her own depression problems since childhood, has had treatment in the past.

Anyway, I felt much better getting this off my chest. I now have a pretty good idea of what happened to me over the years in my m, and why I seemed to be looking in at the m from the outside, watching it slowly get away from me. I only hope that I get a chance to work on things again. Who knows?

m 54
XW 48
m 12
t 14
bomb 6-11
s 10-11
wife moved to other state 10-21-11
d 9-12

O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!