PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[NYCPeter]

Had a bad night.

Got home from work late, D7 was up and we had a great chat about her day and I put D7 to bed.

W was cold and distant, literally could not spend more than 2 mins in the same room as me - I ended up going to the office to watch football to avoid any confrontation.

W came into the office - asking why I was locking myself away, I said every time I entered a room she disappeared so I thought she wanted her own time.

W said that it wasn't true - I didn't argue just asked if she would like to watch TV together - W's response "What's the point".

I asked her if there was something bothering her - W's response "No - and stormed off to bed". I then pursued...

Asking questions like -
Why she is behaving like this.
What did I do to deserve this.
Why is she ruining our Marraige, my life and our children's life.
Blah.. blah...
2 mins of "woe is me" with no responses - I did what I should have done earlier - I STFU...

God I can't keep my mouth shut, but it feels like being prodded by a stick...

Eventually went to bed 30 mins later - said goodnight to the W - got the sympathy peck on the cheek before going to sleep.

She'll file in Jan - nothing is changing her mind.
I have changed in many ways - I still have these triggers that set me off - stupid me....

Seriously down, imagining a future without being a family and living together is beyond depressing for me, it's not what I want, it's not what I dreamed of and it's not what I worked towards...