Hi Witz - only you can know how long you'll wait; there aren't any statistics that will be meaningful in your unique situation. For me, I wait as long as I think I'm doing some good somewhere. My R with H, my personal growth, my sons' emotional health and welfare.
I was wondering. I know you're really resentful; it comes out in a lot of what you talk about. But the way you diminish and ridicule her feeling of being overwhelmed could be indicative of something that might have been wrong in your relationship with W. You might try understanding her more, but you have to put your pride and hurt feelings aside to do that. You'll learn a lot more by trying to understand her world than you will by focusing on how irrational she's being.
You're trying to show "emotional availability" and all she talks about is the kids and holidays and such. Here's an example where she was sharing her feelings of being overwhelmed. If you were emotionally available at that moment, you must have been presenting a front because you came here and derided her.
This is a safe place to vent, so don't think I'm trying to censor you. I'm just wondering if in your vent you can see something you could work on within yourself. Humility, beginner's mind, validation?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
