Such a great thread, and such a comfort for the Holidays! It's so nice to come here and see that though everyone's situtations are different, they're so much the same in so many ways. What has helped me SO MUCH is hearing that everyone has basically gotten the same script, line and dance from their MLCer's. A soft place to fall when so much needed.
I too question over and over again, just who is this person now? Antonia states that she read that the MLCer's only know who they really are but have hidden this away and haven't allowed themselves to live authentically. Yet the MLC is an extreme reaction that's fighting the inner person. I question who that inner person is when you have nothing but Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde going on.
My poor stbx. I look back at the heart to heart talks we've had over the years. I feel so sorry for him at times and feel such compassion. He was/is SO LOST. I remember him telling me once during the past 7 months ( BD 7 months ago) that he just gave up. He didn't have the will power to handle the stress in our marriage anymore. Yet when I look back at it, I didn't see our life at home as stressful. Definately busy but not stressful. I now think he was saying to me he couldn't handle the stress of trying to play the role he felt he had been playing and felt he was supposed to play.
I still question the purpose of his spew lately, the irrationality of it. Is the spew a product of a true sense of entitlement, or guilt which turns into projection? Is it part due to them not completely detatching from us, therefore the touch of a feather throws them into spewing? Probably all of the above.
