Somewhere between filing and D

[jon2911]

Thanks Michelle, good advice as always. Hard as that is, it's what I need to do.

I'm re-doing the signature and correcting my student loan amounts, sending it to her today. And it will be done. Somehow I feel like I need to go down there, not sure why. Will pray about it more.

[MichelleLT]

Probably because you are looking for some kind of closure. Maybe because you feel like if you did something might change?

[jon2911]

Yeah. I'm not going, no need. The form said "respondent agreed to the terms by his signature below".

I asked her to text me when it's done, about 2 hours from now.

Actually super busy with work and church stuff today, which is nice. Very exciting stuff happening there.

I've been dreading December 15th for a long time, but today I realize it's going to be OK.

[MichelleLT]

Yes it will. No matter what, you will survive and thrive. Because while you can't control everything that happens to you, you can control the impact it has on you.

[jon2911]

Thanks Michelle. Just got the text "It's finished. Everything went fine. My lawyer will be mailing your copy of the decree."

Now to get on with my life.

[MichelleLT]

(((Jon))) You got something planned for tonight as a distraction?

[jon2911]

I'm at recovery group at church tonight. Got something fun planned the next several nights as well. I'm thankful for that.

Text from W just now:
"Jon, I wish you peace, happiness, and health"

That really ticks me off. Not going to respond.

[MichelleLT]

No need to respond. Just go dark and give yourself time.

[jon2911]

In my Saturday morning Bible study, one of the guys said "we're going to pray for your wife's healing right now, and you're going to text her that we did".

What?????? That's crazy. W doesn't need healing, and she definitely doesn't need anyone praying for her. All the problems and mistakes are mine. She's just fine. I thought about how much this text would tick her off. My friend ask me why I even cared. I just got divorced!!! Great point. I sent it. No response, and if that's the last text I ever send her I'm cool.

I feel such a freedom now. Things are moving. God is speaking to me. Some hard decisions are being made. And today I asked a girl out for the first time in 8 1/2 years. She said she was busy on the night in question, Christmas coming up and all that. It definitely wasn't a complete rejection, there's no hope "no". I feel alive again.

[MichelleLT]

The very fact that it would tick her off shows just how much healing she does need IMHO.

Good for you for not being reactive. Not walking on eggshells. And sending the text with (almost) no expectations!