Where to next?

[mishka422]

I've admitted here that I feel that way (rejected and scared), he doesn't know that. Trust me, this R is just as dysfunctional as our M was in that respect. My feeling is that he is temorarily in it, he hasn't said that, but I don't trust that he isn't. That's just how it seems to me. I'm willing to accept it because it's better than the alternative. He knows I'm not going anywhere, that is not who I am. I'll stick it out until he leaves again. Next time I'm just not sure what might happen to me and Marc but, it is what it is.

The fear that rules my life has a super tight hold today. It's been a long time since I sat at my desk trying to hide the fact that I'm crying my heart out.

This stinks.