W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore.

[MrBond]

I was touchy, but I had the likes of some hardcore posters that helped me out. The thing is that no matter how harsh they were, I listened and applied even though I didn't agree with everything they said.

"I know I shouldn't have expectations about my W stopping her affair(s) but I guess I thought if she approached me to work on the R that the EA's would stop"

That's what you're still not fully understanding. The men are all bandaids. It's not that you have expectations of her stopping her A's, you have expectations that she should act (overall) in a certain manner. Whether it's texting other men, following up about a C, etc. you are expecting her to fall within certain behaviors (which would apply to normal people) and timelines.

What you can do is persuade and not push her. What is it that these other men provide her that she feels you're not? With all the OM and you, she's obviously looking for something she feels is missing. Find out what it is and you'll get her trust and respect again.

I'm one of those that believe that it's okay to check on her phone records, etc. It's like planning to go to war. You gather intel and use it to your advantage.