I don't know what to do......

[rottzilla]

Hey grislen. I'm a newbie over here on piecing and just read your sitch. My H also is more affectionate with alcohol. My DB coach said that's OK as long as there is no abuse of alcohol (there isn't) and we should not discount how our H/W act while drinking because it is probably unfiltered emotion. Sometimes it is good to go out and have a good time with alcohol, who knew? Good luck getting her to act like that more often w/o the drink.

[SuitedUp]

Lee, great to hear. I'm happy for you that things are moving in the right direction.

Speaking LL is only one tool in the R toolkit but like any other tool, if you overuse and solely rely on it, it could become dull.

This is another tool that you may like to consider. This is a link to the 10 emotional needs.. Just like LL, you need to discover the rank order of your W's needs if none of them leap out at you.

Suit

[grislen]

Suit,

That is a great article and I really think goes hand in hand with the LL. I really am trying to meet those needs in my W and meet all of them It will take a lot of pratice for me to do this but I think she is really noticing and responding in kind.

Lee

[SuitedUp]

Lee,

Compared to where you were just a few months ago, you are doing great and you've obviously landed onto something that works for you. The 10 emotional needs is a great thing to be aware of and yes, it does go hand in hand with the LL stuff.

For example, my W has a high need for Physical Attractiveness. When I'm freshly showered, shaved, cologned and dressed funk, my W can't keep her hands off me. If I'm still in my pyjama's at 4pm, she won't go near me.

One other thing, there's a chapter in the Venus and Mars book called "scoring points with the opposite sex". It is very prescriptive in that it has 101 points on what you can do...i.e. give her a hug when she first walks through the door from work". There's more than enough practical tips in there to last a lifetime of attracting your W's love.

Suit