wife had affair and now a divorce as well

[witz10]

[quote=25yearsmlc]deciding IF you can forgive the affair is one step.
I can forgive her for the affair. I read somewhere that I too am too blame for her affair. Because of my lack of attention. I totally agree and I know I am strong enough that we can work through this if and when she is ready. I was at a xmas party and a old friend of mine who knows what is going on thinks I am wrong about wanting her back. But like someone said on here they don't know unless it happens to them. This is truly the only place to come to to talk about this. Friends and family just don't understand.


[take them back and hold it over their heads the rest of their lives AND OR throw it in their face every time you feel insecure.]

I would not do this. If it got to that point that I would say something I would shut my mouth and walk away. I know it would be hard. If we were to get back together by this summer I will be a nervous wreck. She is off all summer and the drunk does not work and would be home as well. So I would question constantly. But that is wishful thinking at this time.
My plans if she comes back is stick with my therapy plus her own. Couples therapy every other week and possibly some courses together to make sure we are fine and grow stronger from this.

Keep the Road Home, Paved and Smooth...for now at least.
I really like this line.


[PS--have you bravely looked inward to see what your own role in this was?]

I have another thread on here (WAW) where I talk about what I have realized about me.
I have read DB and now reading DR which is much better. Can't wait for the movie.
I have been treating her better and paying more attention when needed also backing off when needed.

[Are you different now? I mean would you be the same way to her if you two did reconcile?]
I am now the person she fell in love with and married. Not the person I was when we moved back from LA. My head is on straight.

[be a man only a fool would leave...]
A lot of my friends already think she is a fool for this cause they see how I have changed and how I am fighting for us.
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