Husband Left...Part 3

[NTX_Dad]

Sorry, when I hit enter to go to a new paragraph it posted my msg!

I also wanted to say that I am glad your surgery went well and that I wish you a speedy recovery. : )

[Hopeful321]

Thank you so much. I too believe he is very confused. I am praying that he gets the help that he needs and soon.

[Autumn Leaves]

Hopeful, he does sound confused and I can relate to your sitch. H and I still ML occasionally. I have no evidence of an EA or PA other than my own insecurities from time to time. It can be difficult to not have expectations and remain detached. It hurts quite a bit if they are cold in any way, after you ML the day before. Makes the roller coaster a bit rougher.

I hope your recovery is quick and that you aren't in much pain.

[BFloat]

ugh! i have been wondering the same thing about my husband. he sometimes addresses me as sweetie (which is what he use to call me all the time) and i wonder if there are glimpses of affection or just a slip of the tongue. i usually pretend i don't notice. however, physical affection is pretty much non-existent but the occasional times he hugs me.. he seems to hold me just a little too long and a little too tight. it's all very confusing.

[Hopeful321]

I can relate to that.

I wonder if he is really done with our marriage and me. I had surgery last Thursday, which he was there. But I have not heard from him since Sunday. Not even a text to see how I am feeling. Does this mean anything?

[Hopeful321]

Well, received a text from H saying that our D was asking about me and my boos boos. So he is coming over so she can see me. To me, that doesn't make sense because I get her back tomorrow. Now is he hoping that I will keep her tonight? Or is he using her as an excuse to see me himself? I have a hard time believing he wants to see me because he runs hot and cold when he is around me.

[purgatory]

That's nice that he is bringing her to see you, I know my kids get nervous when I go in for any procedure- so it will be good for your D to put her arms around you

Try to have no expectations for his real reason to come over. Just enjoy the fact that he did and you get to see your D. If he tries to get you to keep her, just pretend to be faint or weak and say you need your rest... it always work for Scarlett, right?

Hope you are enjoying a warm FL Xmas, I grew up there and I kinda miss 70 degrees on Xmas morning

[Hopeful321]

Well Purgatory, I kept her. Only because her brother is home from college and she loves him.

He did tell me he can't wait for me to move into my own place, which is this coming up weekend so we can spend more time together.

I am enjoying the warm weather here. But I do miss the change of the seasons.

[Hopeful321]

I am planning to spend Christmas Eve at his place so when our D wakes up Christmas morning, we both will be there for her.

[Hopeful321]

Ic4- I was reading your thread from the beginning and I found this towards the end of September.

For so long, I focused primarily on H's problems he brought to our marriage, but when I take a very honest look at the situation, I see how many of my behaviors have contributed to the breakdown of our marriage as well.

I felt the same way. I was so focused on the problems he brought to this marriage, that I was not looking at my own behavior. In addition, once I started to focus on my behavior, I started to find peace within myself.