JB every time I read all the stuff you have done I get mad at myself. It kind of pushes me to want to do things. when I sit down to play video games like I just did I wonder what you are doing and should I be doing more. Don't get me wrong I like video games but I should do more physical stuff. But I hate the cold. So today I will work out the fingers instead
Rick, don't beat yourself about it. I'm usually OK going outside to exercise if I dress for it. If I don't get outside, the cold weather and staying inside gets to me after awhile. Besides, I don't have a very good track record with the artificial exercise equipment physicially. Besides, I'd be bored silly. However, the most benefit I get is being around other people during my situation. I've been borderline introvert/extrovert, leaning introvert, and now it feels good to push my way toward being more of an extrovert.
Just had a decent exchange with my W. There was nothing special about it. It certainly was nothing to draw me closer to her, and it has me heading back toward my ambivalent state of mind.
I've been asking myself recently if she doesn't want be M'd, would I be interested in dating her? The answer to that right now, is "No not really". If she started making a concerted effort to come back, it might change the picture. It's not that I'm going to start dating or pursue a D. I am going to continue to stand for my M. I will continue on working on myself to become my best possible self. IOW, I am going to continue to prepare for the next relationship, whether it's with my W or someone else. Just praying for God's will and purpose in this.
JB at a service we were told that if you find God 1st he will find you a W. Interesting thought don't you think. I know exactly what you are going through my friend. Time will tell. The problem currently is that we can not have them and we think that there is no one else like them. But is that true?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
JB at a service we were told that if you find God 1st he will find you a W. Interesting thought don't you think. I know exactly what you are going through my friend. Time will tell. The problem currently is that we can not have them and we think that there is no one else like them. But is that true?
Rick, I prayed about my current W before we got married. I just have to trust Him for his direction. Let go and let God. If I knew where all this was going, I wouldn't need faith.
My W brought my S home tonight. She was actually early. Tonight was a very neutral interaction. It was pleasant enough, but I'm on well back on the ambivalence track again.
I spent a lot of today just getting caught up on things such as laundry and personal emails, etc. and watched some football. My S and I went out to dinner late. We skipped the usual weekly grocery trip because we really don't need to go yet and it was kind of late. We spent about an hour on the Wii after we got home.
Tonight was a very neutral interaction. It was pleasant enough, but I'm on well back on the ambivalence track again.