Thinking about it more, if I were judging or criticizing and that was the issue, that would be a straightforward fix and I would have done it already.

The challenge is that she feels like she doesn't measure up when I'm supportive and non-judgmental.

She chose me and I have high standards for myself. My drive to meet my own expectations makes her feel scrutinized, judged, and inadequate because I push myself.

How do I lower my own self-expectations? Am I being fair to myself in doing that? See, it's not what I'm doing to her, it's how she feels about herself because of who I am.

That's what makes this so difficult.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015