I was going to suggest something similar. The past...I know it can Influence how you are seen today. But we all can't change it. What we can do is change to future. All I know is that if you have any interactions with FIL make sure they are positive.

Paint a picture of yourself that condradicts what he's telling his father. But in the end you are fighting a losing battle. Do you think if your H changed his mind and wanted to work on the M your FIL would still push for the D?

I learned along time ago people always try to spin stories in their favor. Anything that doesn't favor their story will be left out. (of course it's not your job to supply the missing info either)

It's just tough all around.


Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.