My lawyer - a very experienced divorce lawyer in her late 50s, said she had never come across a divorce like mine before.
On the issue of investment in the marriage. I honestly do not know. If you asked me I would say I really believed that the marriage meant everything to my xh. I am not sure if I simply do not want to accept the idea that my xh always lacked commitment, or my xh was unusual, and was committed and then flipped.
The therapist that we saw briefly together, and I went on seeing, said that he thought my xh was in huge conflict, and loved me deeply.
In one sense it does not matter. The future is what matters, and how have handled the the situation up until is part of that. In another sense the truth of the past is important. Were my memories faulty or inaccurate?
Interestingly there have been several good novels published recently about the way in which memory forms an important part of our identity. My father died of Alzheimer's and I have see at first hand how the person is somewhat lost in their loss or distortion of memories.
