I will tell you I recognize this but maybe it is getting it through my thick skull. If I went and called her doctor and did all these things it would come back to bite me right in the ass.
If I went to her and said that I love her and am really worried about her and I will call her DR and set up an appointment I'm telling you she would see this as a move to control her. That is the problem is find exactly the right words that so she isn't thinking hey he is trying to fix this and control my life. I know how that goes that takes me down the path where I don't want to go.
I have not got to book yet but that is on my to do list for this weekend.
I know she doesn't take this thyroid thing seriously because I ask her about it and she just says well Im feeling better and such. But her behavior is so erradic<sp> that to tell you the truth I don't know which end is up.
So basically im chasing my tail and she is napping .
Now that I really look back at things I think she has had this problem for a very long time im guessing basically our whole marriage and maybe before.
Tommorow I guess I will have to bite the bullet on this and just see if I can help her with getting appointment. The problem is if she says no then the ball is in her court. If I starting asking if she has made it then there we go again Im nagging or controlling or what ever it is that I am.
I think the key is to put away all the anger and resentment (she senses it even when you don't verbalize it, trust me) and approach her in the most loving way possible. Just tell her that you're really concerned, you know that fatigue is one of the symptoms of the thyroid disease, and ask her when is she due to have her blood levels checked again?
Trust me, she will be like a new woman when you get this all straightened out. It happens so gradually, though, that right now she's like a boiled frog - she doesn't even realize how bad it's gotten.
Oh - and nothing wrong with calling her doctor, telling her the signs, telling her you don't want wife to know you called, and doctor could simply call to remind her she's due back for a checkup. Wife wouldn't have to know anything. Doctor really needs to know that she is so bad that she's sleeping all day.
I just wanted to stop by and say I agree totally with Ellie. Your W right now isn't a good judge of how she's doing. Her doctor needs to know how bad it is. He or she would want to know that your W is still having significant symptoms. It might be good to let her doctor know your concerns about how your W would react if she knew you had called the doctor.
Please don't make any decisions about yuor M right now. She will be so different when her meds are adjusted correctly.
It is frustrating, I'm sure not to be able to see her disease. Hang in there, Lee.
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Well thanks everyone. This is still such an on going thing. I really don't like being in this position. Becuase im the one who is the bad person trying to get my W up and doing things. So I am called names and such when I do try and get her out of bed.
Like yesterday I think she slept for about 18 hrs. She goes to bed a about 6:30 am(she works graves) and doesnt get out of bed till about 6:00pm I tried to get her up at 4 to go with me to the store and buy food but I was the jerk who was trying get her out of bed to do something. So I went alone. She got up and put D to bed at 8:00 and when I came back down stairs at 9:30 she was asleep on the couch. So I saw her a total of about 30 mins yesterday.
Lee - call her doctor TODAY! Please. This is really abnormal. I had a roomate in college who did this - slept 20 hours a day - we thought she was just sad about a breakup - she went home for Xmas and tried to commit suicide!
Bring your wife her thyroid pills every day if you have to. Don't worry if she gets mad at you, as long as she takes them. Quit trying to get her to get up and do things - she can't right now, and from her point of view, it just shows that you don't understand how horrible she feels.
Well so my W is back to being her nice self again. Saying ILU and such stuff. I talked to her about going to the DR. and she said that she would call today. I fogot to ask her if she did when I got home from work but I guess that it can wait till tommorow. Anyway I'm feeling better today. I still don't know what the future holds but im getting better prepared to handle it.
Well my w and I had an Argument/Talk yesterday. Basically what I came away with is that my W is Depressed or in depression. She hates her life, her car, her home, her job. I feel so powerless to help. She doesn't realize that she needs to find happiness within her self and that no one or thing can make you happy.
I think what is contributing to this is her thyroid. But also she can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I asked her if she would like to talk to someone she said no that she wouldn't.
She did say that she didn't undersand why I hang around really with her being so mean to me. That I just put up with it. I said that I love her and want her and I to have a good R. I don't know if that will ever happen. She will have to find her light before I think that things in our R will work.
We were on the subject of sex and she said that is all I ever think about and want and that Sex is just SEX. I tried to tell her to me that it wasn't just sex. She cut me off in the conversation and didn't want to hear anymore about it.
She said she wants to go and see a MC thinks that might help but believes that nothing in our R will ever change. There she is not seeing the light anymore. I asked her If she thought that going and getting her thyroid checked and a new dosage would help with her feelings would help she said no that she feels fine.
So here I go in circles chasing my tail not wanting to leave this becuase I know that this is not what I want in this R. So I am looking into finding a MC see if maybe we can get this thing working again.
The wierd thing is that my W is very good at hiding her depression. If you do not live with her you would never know that she is this way. To the outside world she is sunny and cheerful.
Well So far so good with the last day. My W's moods havnt been all over the place. She has been on an even keel so that has been good. Hopefully she can stay this way for a bit.
Thinking about you, Lee. Hope things are going well.
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
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