Not sure of next step

[Shaky]

I got the the bomb end of August. Same speech as I've read here many times.

I'm 42 years old, she is 41. I've been married 15 years, together 20 years.

2 kids, a boy 9 years old and a girl 6.

We both work full time jobs. She became a manager about 3 years ago and her job is much more demanding and stressful. I own a business with my best friend from high school for the last 15 years.

Both of our parents are happily married and we all get together during the holidays, birthdays, etc.

For me this was so far out in left field I was dumbfounded. I've always thought our marriage was pretty good overall. We both have hobbies that don't include one another and the rest of the time we are together dealing with family life.

I now no lack of communication is the root of this sitch. On bomb day she said I take her for granted, am controlling and at this point she wants space and doesn't know what she wants but is not happy and hasn't been happy for a few years.

I immediately found this board and order the divorce remedy book and at first did the basic steps of no begging, pleading etc. Just gave her space like she asked. I started working on me. I'm back to running 3 miles a day Monday-Friday and lifting weights 3 times a week. I really feel great overall. Another area I'm working on is becoming the best dad possible. I think this was part of the taking her for granted as she has done way more overall with making sure the kids homework is done, etc. She has commented that she really appreciates me helping more with the kids.


So to get to the point we are at now:

We are in the same house.
We sleep together, no intimacy.
We have gone to marriage counseling for 4 sessions.
She has gone to individual counseling with the same counselor about 6 times.

I feel that overall things are getting better (no divorce talk) but it seems like there is no love from her. It seems like she would rather just live with the kids. When the therapist asks how we are doing with intimacy my wife says she can't do that right now and doesn't know why or when. In our first therapy session I said I would put no pressure on her for sex and just wait until she is ready but it would seem as I might be waiting awhile as it not important at all at the moment.

How do I get the passion back?