Too little, Too late.

[purgatory]

I need suggestions:

My H has been leaning heavily on his dad through this whole process. {back story} His dad and mom divorced 5 years ago after 30 years together. His dad had been having an EA for 15 years with the woman next door... fast forward to now, he is now married to the woman next door.... so his dad has an interesting perspective on the concept of marriage and divorce.

I have found out that his dad has been encouraging the D from the beginning. Although my H said that he never lets any of his family talk bad about me... I know that his dad didn't try to stop him. He has said things like: "you need to find your happiness, and if it's not with her, than go get it."

His family has seen some of our fights early on in the marriage. Like I said, I was a nightmare to be around for 2 years while I suffered from post-pardum (with no meds at the time.) I was a control freak and very mean if things didn't go my way... so I have to accept that those memories are still in his family's mind.

I would bet $$ that my H hasn't shared with them anything positive that I have changed in the last year, or 6 months since our separation... that makes me really mad! He probably also said that he's "tried everything I could do" on his part (when he readily admitted in our joint session that he "sat around and waited to feel the spark again") I'm sure he didn't tell his dad that! He's only sharing the bad stuff with them, so of course they are going to say that he should leave me, based on what they have seen in the past and what he chooses to share with them.

His dad was the first one to tell my H that he could see something special between us and he's even the one who helped pay for my engagement ring (we were broke college students) SO- he KNOWS that my H and I are good together. What really makes me mad/hurt is that I want my boys to continue having their grandpa in their life- but how can I be around him when I know how much he's supported us breaking up??