That last post is very HUGE......a mean massively HUGE. Your IC pointed out something that seems critical to your relationship both physically and emotionally. Then to have your wife confirm the IC's theories is beyond big.
I think one of the main themes in DB'ing is changing the things you control......and the only thing you truly control is yourself. So how do you change the rating game? Maybe find something in your day to day life, say how the house is being cleaned, and work on changing how your communicate with her about the situation. Say she cleans the kitchen top to bottom, but misses the microwave. Maybe give her words of appreciation for cleaning the kitchen and then clean the microwave yourself. If she asks why, just say you noticed it needed a little more cleaning and you wanted to do your part. Of course this is an example, but hopefully you get where I am coming from.
