H says ready to work on relationship, now what?

[angel61]

Hi SD! I read your thread and saw your latest post.

Although it does seem that your H has some positive changes, Cadet may be right that it may be just a touch and go.

If it is MLC then the timeline seems rather short, he may just be peeking. He did have some hard lessons though which could have helped him along, like the time he got demoted. Also, you have been handling it so well so far! Unlike many of us here, you seem to be so well controlled. I think it helps that you have no children, as there are less factors to complicate or cause strong emotions.

Read through the different threads here. Things you will find out is that piecing is that it:

1. One of the hardest phases - this is because we have gotten used to the bad situation and have adjusted our ways and our expectations. We do GAL, we detach.... and suddenly, things change.

2. Takes time - remember that it took time to get to where you are now. Things will not get better overnight. Feelings will not come back easily. Part of piecing is making the decision to re-commit, and to love again. Sometimes the decision is made in the head but it takes time to mean it. On your part, you will be battling with trying to trust again, forgiving, putting any images of OW in your mind.

Keep on doing what you are doing, and let your H lead the situation. No expectations as for now. Don't pressure him. He should be the one who wants to come back fully,not because you made him do so or held him to his word (I know you are doing exactly that, just wanted to validate), to make the decision and the realizations and learn the lessons fully. Just be the kind of person he loved before, that he would want to come home to. You have been doing great so far.