WHG: When last we heard from our action hero...

[workinghardguy]

So it's been an odd little day. Currently on my 37th hour of being awake with only a 2.5 hour nap in amongst that 37 hours. Fairly shocked I can type Journaling now because I don't expect to make it much longer before it's time to go to bed!

So the overnight chaperon event went well. Some quiet times which gave me more time than I wanted to think about my sitch, but also many hours of fun back and forth leadership conversations and discussions with the young leaders on our staff. I forgot how much I love being able to probe and test the self-assuredness of young leaders who think they have the world by the tail.

Got to bed around 4am and up again at 7am. About 7:30 I get a text from my W. She tells me, in the message, that last night when I was unwrapping one of the gifts I brought home for S, glass ended up on his bedroom floor. The gift didn't survive unbroken and I didn't realize glass had fallen out. She also included in the text that she hopes the night went well.

I've been making a point of sitting on her texts, but this one I responded to right away. I apologized for the glass, told her I didn't realize it, and wanted to make sure S wasn't hurt. I felt pretty terrible. She texts me back that he's fine and she just wanted me to know because my S has me on his "naughty list" now and would likely lecture me later on poor safety habits. He's taken to enjoying being able to correct mom or dad when we do something wrong She includes a little inside joke we have about S and his lectures, and tells me she's glad I could get some sleep.

I had told her last night that I'd be home about 11am. Of course I ended up losing track of time, and she calls me at 11:30. I let it go to message, but then called her back since I realized I was already 30 minutes beyond my commitment and hadn't communicated with her about it. She was a little ornery, but mainly because S was being difficult. She did work in there that she thought it might be related to not seeing me for a week and being very anxious and excited about seeing me again. I told her perhaps that's true... and internally thought, well that will be fun for you then. I told her I needed to finish up some short work I had started with a young man and then would head home.

I get home and W is in a good mood and very chatty. I say that I am hungry and going to get some lunch. She asks me to get her some too, I say ok. She leaves to head to the pharmacy and I go to get lunch. A funny moment occurred as I was leaving and realized she didn't tell me what she wanted. However, she almost always wants the same thing from this place so I text her asking is she wants the regular and as I hit send my phone rings. It's her calling to tell me she wants the usual We laugh and she says "well, you sure know me". Some days I do I guess.

We have lunch and then S and I hang out playing video games while W takes a nap. Then she runs to the store while S and I put up a few last lights outside and shovel the driveway. Then we just play outside in the snow.

So it's been a good day. W has been very social, warm, and open towards me. Even on the phone where she typically is so distant and cold. There haven't been anything like hugs or ILY or anything drastic, but she is definitely warmer and more open than any time in recent history.

I'm going to assume this is related to me being so distant and dark the last week. That having me home is some type of relief perhaps.

We talked over lunch a little and she caught me up on her sister's issues and stuff with her mom. She even mentioned being very annoyed that she hadn't received an invite to a Christmas party she was hoping to attend, and that she being ignored by "her guy" (the one she was searching for quote about trying not to fall in love with) who is supposed to have an invite for her and it's making her angry. Boy I do feel bad for her there. She also mentioned that she hasn't had a good night's sleep since I left. Though that's pretty normal... she never sleeps good when I'm gone.

It's been pretty easy to keep an even demeanor today and cut things off short. I'm so tired I have no desire for long conversations and a ready made reason for moving on to the next thing.

Tomorrow I am taking my son bowling as W has a sex toy party with her girlfriends at the house. Then S is singing in our evening service so we'll have a full, fun day. And that will be good because I have missed him so much.