First post, words of wisdom needed

[purgatory]

Journal:


I am scared that I am going to fall into the "friend" category and not be able to get out. I know that we are not supposed to have expectations, but it is extremely difficult not to get your hopes up when you have any kind of positive interaction with your spouse. For me, positive interaction brings a great deal of fear. It feels like my heart is totally exposed and at any minute she can crush it again by saying I love you, but I am not in love with you. LOL obviously I am having major issues detaching!

I can relate to this I've tried to detach, and I can do it for a few days...but then my stubborn heart takes over and I'm an emotional mess again.
I have told myself to ignore the positive interactions- because I fear that if I get excited or hopeful, I'm more vulnerable to being crushed again.

I think the fact that you recognize this vulnerability in yourself, is helpful because you can actively do something about it. Maybe being her 'friend' isn't such a bad thing (for the moment). You guys were probably friends before lovers, right? So maybe there's a chance that you can be her friend to develop a new understanding of each other and ease back into the 'lover' relationship- just like in the beginning. At least that's what I've tried to tell myself

If you discover any great tips on detaching, please share