Tiki - Nah, it hasn't caused me to change my plans too much. I am still locked in to what I am doing. I had just hoped that maybe she saw a little change in me when we were there together. She DID mention me not being on my BlackBerry and that made me feel kind of good. I knew there was nothing particularly "magic" about that incident. My hope, or feeling, was that it gave her something to think about.
In general, switching topics, I feel like I have done a fairly decent job at detaching these days. Physically, anyway - I do not reach out just to say "hi" or check in. And I never call. Emotionally detaching is the harder game - but I am working on it. It suxx that I am still attracted to her as much as I am.
I will also say this - if there has been one benefit, one MASSIVE 180 that has come of all of this, it has been with my son. I have always loved him - but my W was always the primary caretaker and did everything with him. Three or four months ago (still being a new father) I was scared to take him out on my own, didn't do diapers very well, didn't manage his meals, the list goes on. Now I kind of feel like Mr. Mom in a lot of regards and I like it. He calls for me, falls asleep on me, brings me books to read to him - it's been awesome. We are a team. I take him to daycare and pick him up, buy his clothes, the two of us go to dinner together - it's a total 180. I am a better dad than I thought I was ever capable of being. Well, I should say I am BECOMING a better dad than I thought I was capable of being. In return, he has given me so much love and joy without even knowing it that I get choked up thinking about it. I can only hope that this situation will eventually grant me an opportunity to be a better husband to my wife one day as well.
