Doing the "Friends" Route Pt 2...

[Abbey]

Yes Starsky, I have. I have a lawyer who does family law for if things are amicable (he did our first sep agreement) and we've discussed getting H's name off of some bonds that his name was NEVER supposed to be on, which is in the process with H's signature. I also have been in contact with one of the biggest sharks in the city who did my ex-sis in law's divorce, should I need to. Nasty woman she is... the shark, I mean.

Without giving away all the details of what I do for a living, (because frankly as other's have stated here, they have been "found out" or someone recognized their story)... I won't say specifically what I do. But the legal end IS covered. As would buying a house in a stressful sitch, as would getting a mortgage, as is also protecting my assets and equity in the matrimonial home. There is another legal issue that has to do with a land dispute with the township... that being cleared up before we sell... ALSO has to be in place to protect my equity. Another lawyer we're jointly paying for at the moment. I have no desire to simply move out and cut my own nose off to spite my face financially unless I have to. That isn't good advice to tell anyone. I've dealt with divorcing couples in my job. I've seen what happens to people's equity when it's not protected. SHOULD, and I do say SHOULD I have to change course, I will approach a set of family members to help with a higher mortgage until I can get my equity securely out of here.

IS the sitch completely out of control? On any given day,... potentially yes... then no... then sometimes, then sometimes not. Legal advice isn't the issue here. I use this place to rant and to express just how wacked out H is. I don't post all the things that happen throughout the day, hell, I'd never get anything else done.

My money sitch, I'm protecting by staying here. And make no mistake about it... I can launch a battle royale, if pushed past the point I know I will not go. She comes into my house now for example... I will have her arrested, have a R issued against her,... and will get an injunction to have H removed from home and forced to pay maintenance forthwith. (All which I am entitled to, all I have to do is flip that switch.) BTW, in our legal jurisdiction, I do not have to file/ask for alimony immediately, I could actually wait,... I won't get penalized by the courts. (Remember not everyone is in the USA and the laws are different in other places.)

What has became QUITE apparent over the last few days is that I've made inroads with H. Things he told me yesterday are very much in keeping with the progress he had to make regarding her. (as was also the case last time. It's like ground hog day... predicting stuff). He is susceptible to her, and in his own words, recognizes it, but knows the legal battle is the only way he'll get his daughter. He has to make it clear in his own head that you may love someone, but that they are toxic and poison to you and you should have nothing to do with each other, I'm getting there. (His words)

As such: There have been discussions about getting info to go after custody, discussions about us buying his daughter a bed for this house, or the supplementary house we will move into (he said) should this sell quickly. Discussions about me talking pictures of he and daughter together as PROOF so that OW can't say she doesn't trust him alone with daughter, etc etc etc. I'm also quite aware that this will/probably get worse, before it gets better. She has the capacity to sweet talk him. But something here IS different than the last time. His daughter, and already he's begun to criticize just how bad of a parent she actually is. He's going into protection mode. Putting that "out there" for him to chew on - about protecting his daughter is something I've been stressing every time we talk. He's hearing me.

All that said: Would I leave here with 10 minutes notice if he handed me a wad of cash to buy my share out? Damn right I would. My undies would have to take the next ferry.

NOBODY wants out of here more than I do for a multitude of reasons. It all boils down to the same thing for me... I want out of here, .. .the sooner I"M GONE the sooner this craziness can hit it's breaking point... and I'll be as far away from it as I need to be. THAT is my goal. That is my objective.

If I felt for ONE moment that he just simply went off the deep end again, and NOTHING I was saying was getting through... then I'll pull the pin, get the shark to start the legal proceedings IMMEDIATELY. I am fully aware I still may have to do that. It's not there yet.

Abbey