First post, words of wisdom needed

[sunshine76]

Journal:

Well I have been taking babysteps towards becoming my partner's friend and it is going fairly well. Last night we were exchanging funny text messages from our seperate bedrooms. She has also opened up to me about some of the health issues that are going on with her mom and brother. I am steering clear of any relationship talks so that she can begin to trust me and not be scared to be around me for fear that I am going to bring it up.

I have asked her on a couple of occasions if she wanted to do something i.e. take the dogs to the beach, but she politely declines and then goes by herself. So obviously I still have a very long ways to go.

I am not doing great with GALing. So far I have started volunteering at an assisted living center and I got a job which I start tonight.

It is so hard to detach and try to do fun things when you want to share those things with the person you love.

I am scared that I am going to fall into the "friend" category and not be able to get out. I know that we are not supposed to have expectations, but it is extremely difficult not to get your hopes up when you have any kind of positive interaction with your spouse. For me, positive interaction brings a great deal of fear. It feels like my heart is totally exposed and at any minute she can crush it again by saying I love you, but I am not in love with you. LOL obviously I am having major issues detaching!

I hope everyone out there is hanging in there and finding peace and happiness in their lives.