What do I do next? Part 3

[Accuray]

Well if you didn't tell her you love her or kick things up a notch then pat yourself on the back, you just made it "safe" to be hugged!

If she left that experience not feeling responsible for your sadness, then you have achieved progress.

The *hard* part is dealing with your own feelings about it. When it was me and my W showed a little affection after being so cold and distant I just wanted everything to be good again *right now*

You are not there yet. You can expect she'll try to be nice to you again, but she will punctuate that with being mean and withdrawn! That's coming too, prepare to not let that bother you either! Provide no commentary on it "you were nice yesterday but today you are mean". Don't say that.

Also, resist all temptation to tell her that you enjoyed the hug. Anything like that is pursuing and begging her to reciprocate the comment. Keep it in.

You have to walk a bed of hot coals when things start to get a little better. Prepare yourself!

One of the first times my W started being nice to me was when we went out to dinner with friends. She held my hand on the way there while the friends drove, couldn't keep her hands off me through dinner, very happy and upbeat.

When we got home, she wouldn't even look at me and slept on the couch. That worked me over but good!

Accuray