WAW told me she idoesn't want to be married.

[labug]

Hope your appt went well and you were able to discuss your feelings. This is all tough stuff as the reality sets in. I remember when I moved my clothes into H's side of the closet. Little things like that can really do you in.

[witz10]

Went to therapy last night and felt a little better about the week. Especially since my attorney told me not to sign the agreement. Now to find the time to talk with W.
Funny even my therapist is wondering how I could be sitting back and letting my W have the A and I am not out dating or letting this go. I told him about this BB and how people told me no one understands except for the people on here. Obviously all still very hard to deal with still. Kind of looking forward to the end of the year and start of 2012. By then I will only be seeing my W every 2 weeks when I drop off kids. See if that works at all. Still need her to lose the OM.

This morning I acheived a goal I set for myself. Ran a 5k race with my family of course. My son who is 6 ran it as well so proud of him. My W texted me said she had a slow start this morning. Yea you were at the neighbors drinking and talking.
She gave me some attitude like usual. I would ask a questiona dn get a look. Or when we got back to the condo she needed milk I told her I would go pick it up and she sad rather short no I will get it. OK whatever. We are taking kids out this afternoon for a train ride. I asked her where she would like me to pick up pizza this place or here. She looked at me is this 20 questions was her comment. Yep someone needs a nap.
All I could think of was getting short with me because of guilt.
Making me rethink what I am fighting for at times.

Look forward to the replies.

[kolja]

Hey witz10, I hear you about the start of 2012. Here's hoping it turns out better for us all!

[Abbey]

WAS's want everything to be easy and get quite upset when it doesn't work that way for them. MLC's especially. Envision a little point on the top of their head... and envision that they expect everything to rotate around that point.

You having the audacity to ask questions, and make her actually think about something... the nerve of you! *tongue in cheek*

Hang in there... you're on the crazy train for a while. It gets better in time.
Abs

[verycrazy]

I gotta remember that one, Abbey. Now, I am sure to snicker every time I am asking my H a question.

Good for you, witz on the 5K with your son.
vc

[witz10]

Tonight we took the kids to NJ to ride the Polar Express. I drove up ordered dinner picked up pizza and a stormboli. Which I texted her and asked her which would she like. Got to my home and she was getting the kids to clean up from the rest of the day. With some minor threats to them like you do. Ok she is stressed out. Sit down to eat I go to cut up the strombolie give her her plate get a thank you. But I can still tell she is uncomfortable. Look I know about the OM I don't like it but I am being pleasant to you and working on keeping him out of my mind as best I can. Even though I know he kept you up late last night at our neighbors and your tired.
The one funny thing I asked her earlier if she wanted me to get milk she jumped down my throat and said she would get it. Guess what didn't get out to get it.
Get the kids together get them in the car she drives to NJ. We had good conversation on the way up talking about friends and family. Got there get on train when it arrives after standing in the cold for 15 minutes. Oh well I got a good arm workout holding my D. Get on the train and everything is fine playing with kids talking having fun. Then she starts texting every now and then. My mind goes to is she texting him or friend in CA, who used to talk with me. The train starts going back to the station and all I can think about is the night is done my family will separate again. This [censored] I want to stay home and curl up in bed with her. So I got mopey a little. I drove home cause she was tired and wanted to nap. Again think great you nap so you can hang with OM. Everyone fell asleep and I drove listening to her music. CD 1 ends CD 2 comes on and its Sting 3rd song Everything she does is magic. DAMN YOU STING and weird fate in my life.
Helped her get kids to bed and left. Oh forgot driving home I pull into wawa get out of the car go inside and get milk and a paper. Yep still ended up getting it what are the freaking odds. I offered earlier told no and still stopped. Now I only did it cause it was the fatherly thing to do for kiddos.
Went and had a good time at a friend sxmas party and hung with old friends and drank some beer for a while. Feel ok for now. Still think my W is a smacked ass for not wanting to get back with me.
Forgot from earlier my Therapist thinks of my wife as an enabler and can't believe she is with a alcoholic. Also he was going through people he knows in his industry and a lot of them are divorced at least once some even twice.
Who thought marrying a psychologist would end up like this

[witz10]

Abbey just wondering are you living together or separate? People tell me that I should not have left, I made it to easy for her to do what she was doing. Problem was we don't have a house. We have a 2 bedroom condo with 2 kids. Not ideal to sit and read DR or DB in the open.
I felt I had to leave or it would have been worse.
Just curious

[witz10]

My W texted me yesterday while I was out. She can't find a gift for her parents and is not sure what to do. She knows what to get but can't find it within her price range. I gave her some suggestions and thats all, told her to check out some stores and online pricing might be better. I won't know till xmas I guess to see what she bought them.
I am looking forward to holidays but not I will be with her and kids all day then her parents house. I plan on playing with kids all day. My IL will be good should be interesting.
Emailed her last night told her I took care of all the stuff needed for my S's school trip with after care and I picked up new financial aid forms for gym for us to fill in. Now she hits me with we need to talk with them because we are S. She also said she can't think about it right now she is too overwhelmed with stuff right now. How can she be overwhelmed. She works in a clinic at a university that is on break. There are no students to see and everyone that is working there is bored.

Oh well. So from reading DR I have realized that the past two years I might have gone through a MLC but more on the depressed side. My work at toys r us was a way for me to escape from my family. Plus there was a 20 year old that would find me when she came in and talk with me every time she would see me. She reminded me of my wife at her age and ironically had the same bday. I remember walking around the store thinking to myself that I was not happy and should get a divorce. I never did anything with the girl, not my style I am M and that is it. But I knew something was wrong and just thought it would run its course. Also I would go home sit in front of the tv and relax. I had a handheld game that could get online and yep I would do the porn watching at night.
Looking back now why would I do this when I had my beautiful wife in the bedroom. So frustrating.

Goal
1. get through every week of this roller coaster ride. At the end journal how I feel.
2. Send out more resumes
3. Make plans with my kids for next week
4. Watch what I eat for holidays
5. Make plans for this weekend since I have nothing to do on xmas Eve
6. work on me getting out of this funk. Hopefully after new years I will only see my W every other week and hopefully that will help. Only communication will be through text and email like now.

I have to admit I am wondering if I am holding onto a pipe dream. I read some other threads and see how long people have been S. Few months few years, I miss the physical contact, the face to face conversation, the family planning etc.

My mom told me today my B in law is acting like he did around the time my sister kicked him out. They were S for 10months and now he is acting the same way. I think I will pull him aside one night this week and talk with him. If someone spoke to me before all this I would have nipped it in the bud.

[witz10]

Facebook today my W posts where is my Elf I need help with everything. Well you would have had help if things were better and wouldn't be so overwhelmed. Oh well this is how you want it. Too proud and stubborn to ask for assistance.

[MrBond]

You've been posting alot about your W lately. What have YOU been doing to grow and be upbeat?