Adventures in GALing

[AntoniaB]

Trusting, you make me realize yet again that the MLCer just wants the opposite of us, because it's not about us as much as it is about them :-) My XH claims he went to a super independent woman, but he follows her around like a puppy and she might be independent, but she's controlling. I'm not controlling (and yet independent to him now) and he's baffled by how to interact with me. He even said once "I had no idea you were going to change so much but I can't live too lives, it's too late..." Hmpf. As if I have no choice in the matter of him returning or not...)

Anyway I suspect we search for the happy medium. My doctor said as much to me...she said you have to take the sort of "child" in you who is vulnerable and needs protection and might have issues or anxieties, and take the "good" parts of her, and then take the adult who is probably super resilient and self-sufficient (but who might also push people away as a result) and take the good parts of her and make a hybrid. Like either extreme is just that, an extreme, and often people like us are in a big transition phase trying to find our happy medium.

Like I want to be strong and independent, but not "untouchable" or "distant" or unable to ever have vulnerability.

Cadet I didn't mean it didn't take two to make cheating happen--I was just getting at wondering if women are initiating it more frequently than men are, just because women are more educated (in general) and have more earning power as a result than they used to be and have more choices...I am the only woman I can think of in my immediate friend or friend of friend circle geographically who was cheated ON, but I can think immediately of about 5-8 women I know of around this area who have betrayed their husbands and walked out, and most of them cheated with unmarried, younger men.

And of course this discussion is all about heterosexual rel. anyway, which isn't the whole picture :-)