W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore.

[MrBond]

Funny how you single my comments out when most are in agreement of what I've pointed out concerning your sitch. Sympathy? I'm sure you get enough of that already. Sympathy is what keeps you stuck and not be able to move forward. Sympathy will make you feel better because it makes you feel "right", but it doesn't help to heal you, your W or your M.

All I did was make certain observations and you get a little touchy. Is this how your interactions are with your W? I have no problem with you disagreeing with what I say, but you seem to take them as personal attacks which they really aren't. No one else sees them that way, only you. Re-read your posts again and my response impartially and you'll see what issues there are.

You were the one who mentioned your W wanting to talk to you, yet not knowing what to say and you got impatient about it (or at least that's how it comes across in your message). I said maybe she's reaching out (which you didn't seem to want to consider because she didn't know what to say) and lo and behold, she did.

You were the one who mentioned about not being able to forgive or how to start and that your W has to start doing work, etc. I understand you did work on yourself, etc. and that's commendable, but if she's willing to finally get the help together with you, releasing the expectations you have of her will work to your benefit and actually start the healing.

It will take awhile to work on the resentments you have towards her. Likewise, she has to work on her own issues. However, while she's doing so, she needs to feel safe around you so she can start opening up. Trust and safety are the most important things to a woman. She has to know that you aren't going to throw the A in her face. It's going to be hard on you, believe me. I've been in your shoes. But the minute I stopped mentioning my W's A to her, the healing truly started.