Crimson - there's not much to add to the amazing advise these good people have shared with you. I've been away from your post from a few days. It's amazing how so much can happen in such a short time.
Whatever happens with your family and marriage I can't help but see what a strong moral person you are. It takes such strength to admit that you're hurting and need help, to admit your role in the problems in your marriage and have the guts to face it, and seek improvement in the face of this incredible pain without any guaranty of ther outcome you pray for.
I don't know if this will help you, but it works for me. I pray every morning and at night at the end of the day. I just let it all out to the universe - what I feel, what I need help on to improve, acknowledge my mistakes, say what I hope will happen, ask for help for others incl the W, etc. I'm not trying to be some sort of preachy guy here but look, there is a divine aspect in everything and everything happens according to plan. After praying in the morning you can spend the rest of the day living in the present, listening for the divine whisper, facing your thoughts & feelings clearly. Then at night when you pray, you can drift off to dreamland and if you review your dreams you will often find answers. I really don't want to come off as some new age hippie, but the if you ever needed to be connected to the divine world it's now.
As for the practical part of this, the people here have offered you some incredible advise.
