Quote: That comes to the root of the problem if I can't get her to get better then what?
Oh, but see, you are lucky Lee - her problem IS very treatable. You may, however, need to become a little more proactive with her. You wouldn't get mad at an Alzheimer's patient who forgot to take their medicine, would you? Well, expecting her to remember it perfectly when she is in the "brain fog" of thyroid disease is just as unreasonable.
I suggest you accompany her to her next doctor's appointment. If she doesn't have one, make one for her. In the meantime, try to help her to remember to take her pills. Get her one of those plastic pillboxes with a compartment for each day of the week and fill it for her at the beginning of the week. Let her know that the ideal time to take her meds is in the morning on an empty stomach, an hour before eating, without any other meds that might interfere with absorption. This is the best way to ensure consistent absorption.
BTW - you never answered my question of what dosage is she on? Doctors typically start with a very low dose and recheck bloodwork every 6 weeks, increasing the dosage as necessary - this can be a long and frustrating process. I would guess from how quickly your W crashed that the dosage she was on was not nearly enough. Most people seem to need to be on 0.100 to 0.150 mcg per day, although some people with more residual thyroid function can get by with less.
Please hang in there. I know it is frustrating to deal with an "invisible" disease like this, but trust me, she's in an awful place right now and needs your help.
I have no idea what dosage she is on. She doesn't know either. The problem with me taking over the responsiblity of her taking her pills IE putting them in a container and such and making a DR appointment for her is that then she will get mad that I am taking over. That im trying to control her life. hence the catch 22 that Im in. I will push her to see if she will make an appointment to the DR.
Try to approach it in the most loving way possible - one that can't be taken as a criticism in any way. How about "honey, I love you and I'm very concerned about your health. I know that thyroid disease can make you forgetful, and I'd like to help you get well. I bought you this pill case to help you with remembering. I'd also like to go with you on your next appointment to find out from the doctor what else I might do to help you. "
I know that I was trying so hard to keep it together, and what I heard from H SOUNDED like criticism - "you're screwed up, when was the last time you saw your doctor?" - his frustration was palpable and it didn't feel loving. I have often wondered how different things might have been if he had approached me lovingly and said "gee honey, you know I love you madly. I really want to help and support you all I can. I'd like to go with you to your next appointment to learn more about this."
Finding the dose is easy - just look at her bottle!!! Or tell me what color the pills are - I can figure it out from that, they're colorcoded by dosage.
An excellent book is The Thyroid Solution by Ridha Arem. Although he places a little too much emphasis on T3 supplementation (only a small minority of people need this) he does a great job of explaining all the symptoms people feel. Maybe if you read it, she will see you as taking an interest, and maybe she'll read some of it as well?
I will check that book out. I think part of the problem is my W doesn't take the thyroid issue as that big of a deal. So maybe with reading the book and all she will see it and hopefully ask questions about it a little more and we can get a dialog(sp) going on this so that we can get it figured out before it drives me completely nuts. I know Im already partially there .
Well my W has been taking her thyroid medication for about 4 days now and seems to be coming back to normal. I can't believe the change that I have seen in these 4 days. So things are starting to work again so im happy with that.
Ohh and guess what we have been making love about 4 times in the last 5 days. Im so excited. Maybe it will continue.
Really, Lee, it's like your brain is in a fog and you feet are in quicksand and EVERYTHING is an enormous effort when you have thyroid problems. Hopefully now she will see why she needs to be on her meds. When she is through all this, she will thank you for hanging in there with her.
Just catching up with folks after being away form the board for a while.
You are doing a great job of hanging in there. Ellie is giving you such good information and advice.
A couple of thoughts I had while reading through ~
Does your W understand how her thyroid disease can affect her? Has she read or asked her doctor about the symptoms and affects on her body and her ability to function? If not, maybe the book Ellie suggested could be helpful? You could even bring it up in a loving way maybe something like "Sweetheart, I wanted to understand more about thyroid disease, and this book seems to explain things pretty well." Then maybe she would be interested in reading it too????
Also, I wanted to second what Ellie has said about how weird it can make you feel when your thyroid levels are low - quicksand is a good analogy. I remember thinking something's wrong with me, but not realizing what it was until I noticed that my neck looked different! Looking back I could se how different I was until my levels came back up to normal range.
You are doing a great job being loving and patient with your wife. You have been working so hard and have been sooo patient, and you've come a long way. One thing that helps me be more loving to my H, even when I'm feeling how could he have hurt me like this, is to try and treat him the way I would want him to treat me. (I used this once when he was sick with a bad cold. I was feeling resentful b/c I had been sick quite a few times while he was gone and had no one to help me with the kids, etc. When I treated him the way I would want to be treated when I'm not feeling well, things seemd to go better between us.)
Also, when your W gets pregnant again, her thyroid levels will need to be monitored closely, b/c some women need their dose increased during pregnency.
Just a few thoughts. Keep up the good work and hang in there with her, Lee.
Trying for another baby is a good thing, with the added bonus of alot of .
~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Im trying to stay patient but some days I have a very hard time with it all.
Here is something funny we were talking about getting pregnent yesterday and she has decided that she really doesn't want another child. She swings back and forth so often about this that from day to day I don't know what she is thinking about it.
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