I'm very sorry to hear about your mother vc. I really can't imagine how hard that must be. Even though my father is still alive, I literally want nothing to do with him. I may have hardened my heart, but I really don't care what happens to him at all. He's just not a good person, in any way, shape or form. For all the complaining that I do, I truly do love my mother and would be devastated if I couldn't have some type of relationship with her.
As for not allowing her presence impact the R, well, it already has. I think H sees me as this cold person because I had similar reservations when his mother came for an unexpectedly long visit last summer. Sorry if I don't like to have people staying with us for more than a week, especially when they try to change my daily routine. It seems like our house has turned into this refugee camp for adults that don't have their stuff together - and its not fair. I don't care how little you eat or how conscious you are about conserving energy - when you come to someone's home, you do cause them to incur additional bills. And at this time of year? What is she thinking?
As for my relationship with my mother, well, I see my mother as being very immature. She used to be the rock of our family, but after the divorce its like she went through a MLC and has never been the same sense. There's no way in a million years that I thought our relationship would be like this. We grew up being best friends, and now I am totally guarded and distant from her. Her lifestyle is just very out there. I can't really say much more than that.
I guess the only silver lining in this is that H now knows that I treat everyone in my family the same way. For years, he felt that I was being selfish when I told him that his mother could not live with us, but now he knows that I feel the same way about mine. Its nothing personal. I just want the opportunity to live a full, happy and productive life with my family. Our parents had the chance to do whatever they wanted, and now they're dealing with the consequences. I think its selfish that they would try to impose on their children the way that they are. I might be a prideful person, but I'd rather just struggle on my own than to negatively impact my kids. No freaking way I'd try to move in with my adult daughter, her spouse and her kids. Our house is tiny! Its not like we live in a mansion, or have enough land to let them just live in an RV. I don't know, I'm beginning to feel like I'm the crazy one again.
We have been trying to do so many things as a family and can't because of this situation. I did pretty well work wis last week, so I'm going to see if we can get a counseling appointment in before the New Year at this point. H's job is still kind of shaky, but he thinks that he can stay at his current location for at least the next few weeks. Money wise, we will be okay as long as I am able to continue picking up freelance work from home, especially if I increase my rates as planned.
If you don't mind, what do you have planned for Christmas dinner, VC? This is the first time I've ever cooked, so I'm a little overwhelmed. Any suggestions (recipes, hint, hint) would be greatly appreciated!
