You need to help your son develop his own relationship with his mom. Don't allow him to try to make you feel better by criticizing her; kids sometimes do that. Tell him, what would he like to do when he's there - try suggesting it in advance. Suggest an outing, tell her he's getting bored with watching tv, could they cook together or play a card game?
If he thinks she'll yell at him just for asking her to do something, help him find words for that. Maybe suggest he say to her, when you yell at me I feel like I can't talk to you. I don't know if a 12yo can handle that, but he needs to develop his own tools for relating with his mom and not get into the role of bringing back info to you for you to deal with on his behalf.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
