How does she respond when you do not respond immediately to messages that have nothing to do with the children?
One thing I noticed with my h was that, whenever I detached, he would come closer, in some small way.
In the middle of his crisis last summer, he continued to email me from work every day, and I would respond.
I remember the day I stopped responding to every one as I normally did, and I'd either wait or not respond at all and say I was gone or busy. This really bothered him.
I also stopped doing things like having lunch ready :X yeah I know, but.... I was there too much for him as it was. I simply stopped getting his lunch ready for him and let him do it. I figured, if he planned to be free, he'd need to do that anyway.
Part of my detachment was to stop doing just a few of those small things he was used to, to see his response. And he didn't like it for the most part, seeing me change.
